About three months after my husband and I started dating, I started focusing on things about him that irritated me. Finally, I called him one day all upset and said, “I don’t want to see you again. Don’t call me or contact me. I don’t want to hear from you again. I’m done.” He said, “Wait! Wait! Can we please talk about this? We have something too special to just throw away.”
At first I just didn’t see the point of talking. He had his story and I had mine. I didn’t think I was going to convince him to my way of thinking, and I was sure he wasn’t going to convince me to his. But, he was sincere and determined to talk about it.
We were living in different cities, so he bought me a plane ticket and the next day we were “talking it out.” After almost 11 straight hours of talking I was exhausted, frustrated, and angry. It didn’t feel like we were getting anywhere. I told him that I would see him in the morning.
That night as I laid in bed thinking about the conversation and the problems that we were facing, I realized that I wanted to be right about what was “wrong” with him. He was trying to get me to see another point of view and all I wanted to see was my own point of view. It was a no-win situation.
I thought, “OK, I teach people how to create what they want in their life. What would I say to a client who had this problem?” The answer came, “I would tell them to make a list of everything they were grateful for in their relationship.”
So I took my own advice and made the list. I wrote down everything I was grateful for about Will. In a short time I had a long list. He’s a wonderful man and has lots of wonderful qualities.
As the list grew, I began to wonder what in the world was wrong with me that I would be trying to end a relationship with this superb man. To be fair, I decided to make a list of what I didn’t like. Surely I had some valid reasons for wanting to break it off.
I realized as I wrote the list of what was wrong, I had perfected the art of picking apart the men in my life. I asked myself, what are you getting out of this?
It became clear that it was my insurance policy to keep me from getting hurt. I had broken off every serious relationship that I was in. I saw that I had run away from love to protect myself. And this man really loved me.
This shocking realization led me to this magic potion.
Watch for Part 2 of this 2 part series